#CulturePH - Healing in Real Life: How to Grieve Without Losing Yourself
Loss has a way of sneaking up on you. One moment, life feels normal, and the next, you’re staring at an empty chair, a quiet phone, or a favorite spot that suddenly feels different. Whether it’s a loved one, a relationship, or even a loyal pet, grief can hit hard and leave you feeling like you’re in pieces.
But here’s the thing: there’s no “right” way to grieve. Forget the textbook stages and timelines—everyone’s journey is unique. Sometimes you’ll cry, sometimes you’ll feel angry, and sometimes you’ll just feel numb. And that’s okay. Dr. Jon Edward Jurilla from Makati Medical Center says it best: “Grief is a very personal experience. No two people grieve alike.”
People around you might have their own opinions about how long you should grieve. Some will tell you to take your time, while others hope you’ll move on quickly. But grief isn’t something you can rush or ignore. It’s a natural, human response—one that can be physically and emotionally exhausting. Losing someone close can feel like losing a part of yourself, and that’s a reality worth honoring.
So how do you start healing without losing yourself in the process? Here are a few gentle reminders:
- Let yourself feel everything. Don’t judge yourself for crying, screaming, or feeling regret. Express whatever comes up, and don’t bottle it in.
- Talk it out. Whether it’s with family, a trusted friend, a spiritual adviser, or a professional, saying your thoughts out loud can be surprisingly cathartic.
- Find your own way to express grief. Journaling, long walks, or quiet moments in nature can help you process what you’re feeling.
- Lean on your people. Surround yourself with those who genuinely care, or join a support group where others understand what you’re going through.
- Take care of your body. Grief is exhausting. Eat, rest, and let others help you—accept that lunch invite or let someone drive you where you need to go.
- Keep memories close. A photo, a piece of jewelry, or an old shirt can help you feel connected to the one you lost.
- Remember the good times. Happy memories and funny stories can bring comfort and remind you of the love that’s still there.
- Go easy on yourself. Healing takes time. Whatever you’re feeling is valid, and as the days pass, sadness will slowly give way to acceptance. It doesn’t mean you love any less—it just means your memories and love live on in your heart.
Grief isn’t something you “get over.” It’s something you move through, one day at a time. And in the process, you might just discover a new kind of strength—a way to keep living, loving, and remembering, even as you heal.
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